Polaroid Snapshots

Every two years is a pace that my blogging can keep up with.   LOL!

So, years ago I had this bout with alcohol poisoning.  It was late in my teen years and as I lay in my parent's bathroom floor, my dad decided to take several Polaroid shots of me semi-conscious on the floor.   Well, here we are some 35 years later and I discover that my mom had kept it . . . I'm not sure why since I still can't smell the smell of beer without my gag reflux kicking in . . . but the image is always seared into my memory . . . will never lose that one I think . . . even if I stumble into dementia one day.

Well, I've discovered that my journey in life consists of many such snap shots.  There are really , really important for me to remember who I am and what I'm doing here taking up space and oxygen.  And I got another one this past Sunday.

I was finishing a conversation I was leading on what it meant to allow the Love of God to hang onto us rather than us hanging onto our junk or even religious aerobics that occupy our worship language and spaces.  At the end of this moment, a friend of mine name "Daniel" (may or may not be his or her name so give up on figuring it out) approached me and grabbed me into this real uncomfortable bear hug.  Daniel always gives me a bear hug . . . whether at our church building or at the mall food court.  And Daniel doesn't let go unless you reply to him.  His hug always comes with an "I love you brother" . . . always!!  And he will not let go til you reply "I love you too Daniel" . . . Daniel may have a mental issue that defines his life . . . there is definitely some emotional issues going on . . . yeah, he scares most people . . .  so here I am, trapped in this very awkward moment and with barely enough air to breath much less speak - I'm verbally squirting out "I love you too Daniel . . . I love you too" , while thinking in my head - "will you let go of me you big lug?" . . .

But in this moment Daniel will not let go . . . and then he begins to sob . . . and sob . . . and sob . . .

People are staring Daniel . . . I said "I love you too" . . . "c,mon Daniel . . . let's give this one a rest . . ."  . . . constant words echoing through my head . . .

Then , interspersed between the sobs , Daniel tells me his current reality . . . "I'm all alone brother Pat . . . I'm all alone . . . my adoptive parent's don't want anything to do with me anymore . . . I don't know what I've done wrong . . . my adoptive father doesn't even want to acknowledge my existence . . . and my real family is either dead or don't want to know me . . . I don't know what to do . . . all I know is that when I come here I feel good . . . ya'll love me don't you?  . . . it's ok that I come here right??  I can always come back right ???

and I hear the Grace Polaroid shutter snap . . . and I'm being held in the grip of grace . . . of love . . . and once again, I'm reminded of who I am . . . why I'm here . . .

"Yeah, Daniel . . . I love you too . . . and yes . . . you are always welcome here . . . you can always come here . . . "

Oh . . . and it wasn't anything I had said or done to have ushered this moment into being . . . nope . . . it was this video . . . take some time to watch it and listen for the shutter to snap . . . maybe you need a bear hug or a simple reminder of who you are today . . . why you are here . . . listen in:

https://vimeo.com/42733808